The day after the annual End Well conference in Los Angeles, End Well presenter Alica Forneret, Executive Director of Time to Pause, hosted the non-profit’s first-ever Resource Fair focused on grief in multi-cultural communities. An ideal segue.
The fair was held at Our House, a non-profit grief support center in West Los Angeles. As the program noted, it was produced “by People of Color for People of Color.”
Alica personally welcomed all attendees at the entrance. A fine, warm beginning for what became a meaningful, memorable afternoon among the many who, according to Canadian sacred deathcare practitioner and teacher Sarah Kerr, PhD, “are called to transform how our culture(s) meet death and loss.”
First stop, one-hour with poet/writer Nicholas Reiner who offered reading and writing tools to navigate whatever stage of grief you may find yourself in. Nick lost his Los Angeles County Fireman and First Responder father in the line of duty. Nick was 9 years old at the time. Moving to hear his story, moving to hear Nick read his eloquent poem about this father in both English and Spanish, moving to hear letters of loss from others we read aloud. We were sent home with 10 pages of prompts, ideas, and other writings to ponder. Wonderful gift.
Next stop, the Book Nook with some current (and past) titles relating to death, dying, and grief by authors of color.
I was excited to continue to a glassed-in room where San Francisco Bay Area doulas Tida Beattie and Soyeon Davis had created a labyrinth of marigolds, pine cones, and plant branches from local flora. They had also created a labyrinth for the End Well conference the day before.
Tida and Soyeon provided directions about setting an intention before entering the labyrinth with suggestions for how to focus on your breath and feelings. They also provided a thoughtful sheet about the rich and diverse history of labyrinths.
I am a huge fan of these precious ladies from a Reimagine on-line meeting years ago and subsequent on-line gatherings about death, dying, and grief in Asian communities. Here below you may see and feel their open, receiving energy. Soyeon is on the left, Tida on the right:
Tida was on the mid-afternoon panel discussion. She spoke movingly and authentically about how difficult it is to navigate the subject of dying in an Asian family. Also on the panel were African-American cancer survivor Sonya Jackson, and Our House Latina social worker Jenny Rivera-Cruz with Alica Forneret as the moderator. Each of their experiences about navigating serious illness, death, and grief were compelling to listen to and at moments surprisingly humorous.
Photo below of Sonya, Tida, and Jenny on the Time to Pause afternoon panel:
Photo below of Executive Director Alica Forneret (blue and white blouse) as panel moderator with some of the audience:
The AC Care Alliance, a non-profit “faith and health caring community” focuses on the African-American experience yet serves all others. They received me graciously, just as they were packing up. My thanks to Regional Director Trevino Cochran for offering me a well-conceived, well-written Care Planning Workbook for Advanced Illness Care.
Jasmine Godinez-Gomez had a table with her Art for Grievers.
Mangda Sengvanhpheng, a Laotian-American, shared with me about her culture of care as a death doula since 2019. Her first name translates to light of the full moon. Her name fits her low key, calm and present with you manner.
A short film entitled Curating Grief by London-based filmmaker Jamie Max Lee, shot on location in Lisbon, was screened. Attendee Charlene Lam of http://www.curatinggrief.com is featured in the film. I look forward to viewing the film at another time. A trailer for the film is on Charlene’s website.
Bella Vida Hospice of Signal Hill, CA had a table. They focus on serving the Latino community.
There were many other participants to meet and appreciate.
About 200 authors, chaplains, nurses, caregivers, end-of-life doulas, poets, psychologists, social workers, and anyone interested or involved with cultural differences in end-of-life and grief attended the free event. The atmosphere was healing and supportive, and the fair well-organized and produced.
Several folks who attended End Well stopped by – National End-of-Life Doula Alliance President and Compassion & Choices African American Leadership Council member (AALC) Ashley Johnson from Orlando, Florida; Author/End-of-Life Doula Trainer/End Well speaker Alua Arthur of Los Angeles; SFO Bay Area Author/Hospice Nurse Gabrielle Elise Jimenez, Sarah Chavez of the Order of the Good Death whom I would have liked to have seen again (last time was in 2019) and many others.
If this gathering returns next year, and I hope it does, I have a prayer for possible Native American participation.
Many thanks to Alica and her equally passionate and engaging Time to Pause team for their attention to details and care. For more info on Alica and Time to Pause please see:
About PAUSE Leadership — PAUSE
Note: The End Well conference, produced since 2019 with immense heart and soul by Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider of San Francisco, is devoted to “making the end of life a part of life.” The conference has included diverse voices since inception. If interested, an edited 5-hour recording of this year’s End Well may be viewed on line at: https://endwellproject.org/live/ .
© Wendy Jane Carrel 2024
Wendy Jane Carrel, MA, is a Spanish-speaking senior care advocate from California. She has travelled Mexico (and Latin America) for several years researching health systems, senior care, and end-of-life care to connect Americans, Canadians, and Europeans with healing options for loved ones. She is a compassionate companion and palliative care liaison, legacy writer, co-founder of Café Mortality Ajijic/now Death Café Ajijic and founding member/speaker of the Beautiful Dying Expo (USA). She is a trauma-informed, gentle End-of-Life Doula (National End-of-Life Doula Alliance proficient), a speaker and published author on subjects related to senior well-being, and serves on the City of West Hollywood’s Older Adult Advisory Board. Wendy’s web site is https://www.WellnessShepherd.com
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