End-of-Life Education – Wellness Shepherd

“Navigating through Life’s Journey” was the theme for the 3^rd annual Beautiful Dying Expo November 12-14 on-line produced by author and end-of-life doula Michele Little and co-produced by Christy Marie.

Over 1300 registrants logged in from 45 countries on five continents to learn or share about quality of life, palliative care, hospice, death, dying, green burial, grief, and more.

Not surprisingly most of the speakers who devote themselves to death and dying education have come to the space as a result of personal experiences with death – physicians, nurses, end-of-life doulas, psychologists, social workers, chaplains, family members, policy makers, and more.

There were many tender moments as well as offerings of humor, healing, practical action plans, and revelation. For many attendees the expo went by far too fast. Over 50 useful talks and exchanges included, among other subjects, how to write a holographic will and why (a holographic will is legal), Latin American perspectives on death, pediatric palliative care, surviving suicide, and veteran burial benefits. There were Death Cafes and a Sudden Widow Coach. Much to choose from!!!

“The timing for our exploration couldn’t have been more perfectly aligned as the past two years have impacted all of us and made us more aware of how precious life is,” stated producer Little.

“We needed a place we could go to find answers for our deep, unspoken questions about dying, death and grief. We needed to know it was okay to live, love, and be in joy.”

There were many highlights but one stand-out (I admit to bias because I know them), was the presentation by Rev. Dr. Saul Ebema and his after chat with producer Michele Little. Ebema survived the south Sudanese war and time as a child soldier to eventually become a hospice chaplain in the U.S. Little’s brother David was a NYC firefighter who lost his life trying to save others on 9/11 in one of the twin towers. His remains were never found. These two sentient beings talked about love, loss, the mysteries of death, and the sacredness of life. It was moving to listen to.

Rev. Ebema’s PTSD from witnessing the unmerciful deaths of his parents, his only brother, and the war still lingers. “I longed for a sense of community, for people to talk to, for people you can dream with, and tried to figure out this thing called life.”

Rev. Ebema reminded the audience that “life is a practice”, “grief and joy can co-exist”, and “being kind saves lives.”

Rev Dr. Saul Ebema is the president and founder of Hospice Chaplaincy. He founded and co-hosts “The Hospice Chaplaincy Show” a podcast about compassion and the psychosocial/spiritual aspects of end-of-life care. See https://hospicechaplaincy.com

Rev. Dr. Saul Ebema of Hospice Chaplaincy

Other speakers among the many (apologies to the amazing guests whom I was unable to listen to, thank you for your contributions):

The main presenter on the first morning was Gary Mallkin, a heart-centered, award-winning musician (20 Emmys) who shared how music may support us as we journey gently through grief. Music for Malkin is “innertainment”. “Everything is vibration and has intention, it can shift our attention, hearing is the last sense to go.” From Malkin’s point of view, “the most successful pharmaceutical would be a pill with music, music as medicine.” His website, featuring many spiritual luminaries may be found at www.wisdomoftheworld.com

Althea Halchuk, a Board-Certified Patient Advocate (BCPA) specializing in health law and founder of End Well Patient Advocacy gave an exceptionally articulate and important talk about Medical Surrogacy – who is going to speak for you if you become incapacitated. This is a subject that should be of interest to everyone, especially people who live alone, have no children, no spouse, no significant other, and no support system. Halchuk is also an advocate for Final Exit Network. She is based in Arizona. https://endingwellpatientadvocacy.com/

Dr. Mitsuo Tumita moderated a talk with Julie Stroud (now an End-of-Life Option Advocate) who witnessed medical aid in dying (MAID) for her father, and Joanne Kelley (now an author, INELDA End-of-Life Doula and End-of-Life Option advocate) who reluctantly witnessed her husband’s transition. They reiterated that no matter how you feel, i.e. you do not agree, you do not want your loved one to die, the dying person’s wishes must be front and center. They spoke of stigma attached to MAID, as well as “how MAID is often mixed up with suicide.”

Arlene Stepputat, a death educator and end-of-life doula from Santa Barbara, CA spoke about “Doulas at the Bedside” based on her experiences companioning over 20 folks on their journeys. “Bedside practice is the best teacher.” Arlene can be found at https://dyingtobegreen.com/resources/divine-doulas/

There were panels of End-of-Life Doulas as well as a presentation by Dr. Jamie Eaddy Chism, Founder of Thoughtful Transitions and INELDA (International End-of-Life Doula Association) Director of Program Development. Chism is devoted to black end-of-life care. See (https://www.thoughtfultransitions.org). Doula discussions included mention of gradual acceptance of their purpose (non-medical) in hospital ICUs, hospices, and private homes.

Author and radio personality Jane Asher hosted “In the Next Room” podcasts. On-line meet-ups in “rooms”, interaction during sessions also included write-in chats in the side bar. A myriad of multi-lingual panels (English/Spanish/Portuguese) were hosted by Wilka Roig of the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Foundation Central Mexico. A blog about transpersonal psychologist Roig and her death education initiatives in Mexico may be found here https://wellnessshepherd.com/2021/04/30/end-of-life-education-and-end-of-life-doula-training-takes-off-in-san-miguel-de-allende-mexico/

Palliative care physician and gerontologist Karl Steinberg (a speaker at the 2019 and 2020 expos) focused his talk (missed this event) on the importance of bioethics in end-of-life care and also addressed the current controversy about the value of having an Advance Care Plan. Steinberg is the current Vice President of the National POLST (Physician’s Order for Life Sustaining Treatment – known as a MOLST on the east coast).

Ben Janzen, Dr. Theology, PhD, Grief Release Method specialist, Hospice Chaplain, and VITAS Bereavement Counselor, also a speaker in 2019 and 2020, gave a talk which I missed. He also participated in a panel discussion on grief.

Canadian Yvonne Heath of Love Your Life to Death and TedX speaker explored the concept of a joyful death with American physician and comedian Patch Adams. Yes, he is the person portrayed by Robin Williams in a movie with his name.

Terri Daniel, an interfaith chaplain, end-of-life educator, and grief counselor created a spiritual ritual for the opening and closing ceremonies. Daniel is the producer of the original After Life Conference (11^th year), producer of the Conference on Death, Grief, and Belief (July 2022), host of Ask Doctor Death podcast. See https://danieldirect.net/

Producer-director Gay Gillingham of Dying to Know, a documentary created over several years of conversations between former Harvard psychology professors Ram Das (Richard Alpert) and Timothy Leary about the meaning of life and death, offered her film as the closing night gift. A link to the trailer and the movie may be found here: https://dyingtoknowmovie.com/

The 2022 Beautiful Dying Expo is scheduled for November 11-13. More information may be found at www.BeautifulDyingExpo.com as well as on the expo Facebook page which features Michelle Little’s interviews with guests dedicated to death, dying, and grief education.

For a review of Beautiful Dying Expo 2020 see https://wellnessshepherd.com/2020/12/31/beautiful-dying-expo-2020-death-and-dying-colleagues-from-10-countries-advocate-for-thoughtful-preparation-and-planning-for-ones-demise/

A review of Beautiful Dying Expo 2019 is here: https://wellnessshepherd.com/2019/12/29/a-visit-to-the-beautiful-dying-expo-in-san-diego-california-2019/

The Beautiful Dying Expo is a non-profit project of the Institute on Violence, Abuse and Trauma, (IVAT). IVAT has been the fiscal sponsor since inception. The expo is organized by volunteers who, states producer Little, “wish to continue to build healthy communities globally.“

Wendy Jane Carrel, MA, is a Spanish-speaking senior care specialist and consultant from California. She has travelled Mexico for several years researching health systems, housing, senior care, and end-of-life care in order to connect Americans, Canadians, and Europeans with options for loved ones. She has investigated hundreds of senior living choices in 16 Mexican states. Her web site is http://www.WellnessShepherd.com

Death and Dying, Death and Dying Education, End-of-Life Education, End-of-Life Planning, Palliative Care

Palliative Care and End of Life Practitioners Gather Internationally and Locally Seeking Solutions for COVID Care, Social Disparities, and More

August 31, 2020September 1, 2020 bigpondlittlegirl

COVID has brought about loss of lives, economies, and untold devastation around the world.

It has also brought with it dedicated palliative care and end of life practitioners gathering for discussions about how to improve healthcare inequities and offer psycho-social-spiritual support to patients, families, medical teams, and first responders for now and the future.

New alliances and friendships have been formed via Facebook, Webinar, and Zoom chats that may not have been forged otherwise.

In August 2020, I attended several gatherings. Below are highlights. Each exchange was a gift.

The Chaplaincy Innovation Lab lead by Wendy Cadge and Michael Skaggs at Brandeis University continues to host a remarkable gathering of chaplains and others. The Trauma and Spiritual Care meeting in August emphasized the value of chaplaincy during COVID. We listened to moving stories about trauma created by the current medical model, especially for minorities, and the statement “racism is a public health crisis.” Also of note were observations by Dr. Ayo Yetunde, a professor at United Theological Center of the Twin Cities, who focused her remarks on the trauma and stigmatization of growing up black in America. She spoke about moral injury and how “politicians traumatize us.” Her newest book, to be released this fall is Black and Buddhist. See https://www.unitedseminary.edu/academics/faculty/pamela-ayo-yetunde/ and http://chaplaincyinnovation.org/

The Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Foundation of Central Mexico. Psychologist and end-of-life educator Wilka Roig in San Miguel de Allende produces monthly seminars related to death, dying, and grief. The August gathering was uncommonly interesting with Ken Ross, son of Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, as the guest. It was fascinating to learn about his mother, the Swiss doctor who spent her adult life in the U.S. devoted to continuing the hospice movement started by her friend and colleague Dame Cicely Saunders of St. Christopher’s Hospice, London. I have visited the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross library in Torrance, California at Dr. Ira Byock’s Institute of Human Caring but had no idea of the trials and tribulations of this remarkable woman’s life. Dr. Kubler-Ross was a Jungian, and a prolific author best known for Death and Dying, 1969. Ken was her caregiver for almost 10 years. He gave a loving, tender report that included amusing stories about how stubborn she could be. A revealing part of his talk was how most people interpret the five stages of dying or the five stages of grief literally, as fixed stages. He showed us circular graphs his mother created showing all phases are connected and that we go in and out of phases arbitrarily. There is no end.

Dr. Marcos Gomez Sancho, the pre-eminent thought leader for palliative care in the Latin world spoke on Facebook to over 700 physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, educators, and volunteers in North and South America from his home in Palma de Majorca, Spain. As anticipated his talk was well-planned and included music, paintings, and photos to illustrate his points. His presentation was “El Duelo Normal al Duelo Imposible”, normal grief to impossible grief, emphasizing “the cruelty” of dying alone without traditional support and the suffering of the patient, the family, and the medical team. Dr. Gomez’ website is: http://www.mgomezsancho.com/esp/index.php

I was honored to spend time with Dr. Gomez at the 2^nd International Palliative Care Conference in Guadalajara in 2015 and last year when he was again the headliner at the 4^th conference: https://wellnessshepherd.com/tag/dr-marcos-gomez-sancho/

The National Association of Hindu Chaplains (NAHCA) A unique gathering of mostly Hindu Americans (14) with special guest Sanjay Mathur of the Hindu Temple of Rochester, NY. Moving stories by this tender-hearted man with compassionate presence. I could see why anyone would feel comfortable receiving his pastoral care. http://www.hindutempleofrochester.com/

Let’s Reimagine End of Life, based in San Francisco, has put a tremendous amount of energy into producing 700 “spaces” around the world, and 125 workshops. Congratulations to programmer Dara Kosberg. One of my favorite discussions included a small group of first generation Americans of Chinese, East Indian, Korean, and Thai descent discussing how to talk to their parents about planning end of life, a culturally taboo subject. On August 31, founder Brad Wolfe, a Stanford educated entrepreneur and artist hosted a chat with palliative care physician Jessica Zitter (also author and filmmaker), Pastor Corey Kennard, and grief author Hope Edelman. I loved the breakout sessions where a marvelous synchronicity introduced me to Jessica’s lovely mother Rhoda, and two colleagues whom I hope to stay in touch with – international end-of-life doulas Glynis German of Mallorca, Spain and Merilynne Rush, RN of Michigan. They both also host Death Cafes. Small, meaningful world. https://letsreimagine.org/

Heartfelt thanks to all those mentioned above who dedicate their lives to the well-being of others, and who are so willing to share what they’ve learned. And heartfelt thanks to all others engaged in these activities and are not mentioned.

Death and Dying, Death and Dying Conferences, Death and Dying Education, End-of-Life Education, Palliative Care

2020 Death & Dying Conferences & Education – COVID Has Accelerated Discussions of Mortality

July 31, 2020September 14, 2020 bigpondlittlegirl

The worldwide “death positive” movement of the last 10 years has encouraged many persons to prepare for their earthly demise – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and legally (addressing healthcare wishes, wills, and more).

The arrival of COVID has accelerated these discussions.

Many gatherings and programs focus on a return to “slow medicine”, person-centered care, traditional ways of honoring departures, the creation or continuation of rituals and all things “natural”.

Who is leading the conversations?

Here below is a random short list (many missing) of conferences and educational resources (mostly in the U.S.) about healthcare, death, dying, and transitions in 2020-2021. Consider it a starter list.

Not included are hundreds of insightful books by caregivers, chaplains, doulas, journalists, nurses, physicians, and lay folks, as well as numerous end-of-life doula programs, local civic community programs, and offerings from hospices, and faith-based organizations.

1001 thanks to all persons near and far who openly share information about mortality and ways to create a thoughtful, peaceful end-of-life for all (when possible) as part of their love mission.

Afterlife Conference The 10^th annual conference, produced by Dr. Terri Daniels, a clinical chaplain, certified trauma professional, and end-of-life educator took place on-line in June. The 2021 conference is scheduled for next June. https://afterlifeconference.com/

Art of Dying Institute at the New York Open Center. On-going seminars plus certificate trainings all year for end-of-life doulas, and dying consciously teachers. https://www.artofdying.org/

Association for Death Education and Counseling based in Minneapolis, MN cancelled its 42^nd annual meeting for 2020. The next conference is scheduled for April 6-10 in Houston, TX. The conference offers continuing education credits and thanatology certifications. See www.adec.org

Authentic Presence On-going contemplative end-of-life care trainings and meditations led by interdisciplinary palliative care practitioners Kirsten de Leo, and Dr. Anne Allegre. Currently being held on-line. Notable professional education team https://www.authentic-presence.org/our-team

Beautiful Dying Expo. On-going end-of-life conversations on their Facebook page with palliative care physicians, hospice nurses, green burial professionals and more. Engaging interviewer is Michele Little, producer, author, and end-of-life doula. The 2020 Expo will be on-line November 13-15. Here is a report on their first expo in 2019: https://wellnessshepherd.com/2019/12/29/a-visit-to-the-beautiful-dying-expo-in-san-diego-california-2019/ www.beautifuldyingexpo.com

Café Mortality, Death Cafes, and Death Over Dinner. Groups around the world started gathering to discuss death over tea and cake in Switzerland in 2002 with sociologist Bernard Crettaz. In September 2011, American Jon Underwood, based in England, carried on the tradition by creating Death Café. Jon died not long ago but his wife, mother, sister, and other volunteers keep the organization going. There are Death Cafes in 79 countries!!! Find one near you or far from you (as most are on-line at this time of COVID) at www.deathcafe.com. Death Over Dinner continues in the same vein with night-time conversations about how we wish to die. See www.deathoverdinner.org. These are all volunteer efforts.

End of Life Experience Conference March 12-13, 2021 (originally scheduled for April 2020) Lisbon, Portugal https://www.progressiveconnexions.net/interdisciplinary-projects/health-and-illness/the-end-of-life-experience/conferences/

End of Life University. Dr. Karen Wyatt, an award-winning spiritual care author and hospice physician, started on-line podcast interviews (over 250) with end-of-life professionals in 2013 to offer a resource for family caregivers, healthcare workers, and the public. Dr. Wyatt also creates a book list every year, one book per month, known as The Year of Reading Dangerously. See http://www.eoluniversity.com and

https://wellnessshepherd.com/2018/08/05/death-dying-education-a-chat-with-end-of-life-universitys-karen-wyatt-md/

End Well Project www.endwellproject.org The End Well Symposium is a one-day series of talks every December by esteemed healthcare professionals, most of whom are authors focused on creating more human-centered end-of-life experiences. The 2019 talks may be viewed on You Tube. Here is my blog about the last event. https://wellnessshepherd.com/2019/12/31/end-well-a-symposium-on-redesigning-the-end-of-life-experience-san-francisco-ca-2019/

Dying for Change Hospice UK offers on-going conferences, workshops, and more. See https://www.hospiceuk.org/what-we-offer/courses-conferences-and-learning-events

Dying Matters https://www.dyingmatters.org/events A coalition of National Health Service, non-profit, and the independent healthcare sector in England and Wales. On-going, on-line educational events promoting conversations throughout the kingdom.https://www.conferenceseries.com/palliativecare-meetings 2020

Reimagine A non-profit organization based in San Francisco that “explores death and celebrates living.” On-going on-line conversations with a diverse group of participants – for example, an interview with palliative care physician Ira Byock, and a group of young Asian-American professionals focusing on how to address the subject of advance healthcare directives with their immigrant parents. For more info see www.letsreimagine.org

The Conversation Project. Boston-based non-profit, co-founded by Ellen Goodman, dedicated to helping folks talk about their wishes for end-of-life care at home and in community settings. Excellent materials (starter kits) to download and work with plus guidance for how to have your end-of-life wishes respected. They have a new COVID-19 specific guide which you may download for free as well as other resources. www.theconversationproject.org

University of Bath, UK The Centre for Death and Society, according to Director John Troyer, “is the only research centre that looks at death.” They held their 14^th prestigious international conference in the fall of 2019. Their 2020 conference was cancelled but there are some continuing events including “Big Death Talks” https://www.bath.ac.uk/research-centres/centre-for-death-society/

University of Wisconsin International Death, Grief, and Bereavement Conference sponsored by the University of Wisconsin La Cross Center for Death Education, Bioethics, and Extended Learning. June 6-9, 2021 Call for proposals is open for the subject Ambiguous Loss and Grief. https://www.uwlax.edu/ex/dgb/

World Hospice and Palliative Care Alliance Last but not least, the most meaningful COVID healthcare conversations for me professionally were organized by WHPCA Executive Director Stephen R. Connor, PhD. Connor gathered palliative care professionals from Africa, Asia, Europe, Latin America, and the U.S. to review challenges related to caring, pain management, policy, resources, and serving during COVID. The series was on-line for 12 weeks and included collaboration with the International Association of Hospice and Palliative Care (IAHPC), International Children’s Palliative Care Network (ICPCN), and PALCHASE offering Palliative Care in Humanitarian Aid Situations and Emergencies. WHPCA has over 200 affiliate organizations and members in 79 countries. See https://www.thewhpca.org/covid-19/ for briefing notes and information on participants.

Death and Dying, Death and Dying Education, End-of-Life Education, Palliative Care

A Visit to the Beautiful Dying Expo in San Diego, California 2019

December 29, 2019January 4, 2020 bigpondlittlegirl

For those of you working in palliative care and hospice, or those of you interested in the subject of end-of-life, transitions, and grief, there are a vast number of educational and support opportunities sponsored by foundations, medical centers, universities, small groups, and individuals around the globe.

This year, I attended a new event in California…

Beautiful Dying Expo, November 2, 2019 which was founded and produced with love and attention by author (Exit Papers 101: Prepare for the Final) and End-of-Life Doula Michele Little at the San Diego Convention Center.

This first time gathering included palliative care and hospice professionals, educators, and volunteers; authors/philosophers/teachers/guides; green burial enterprises; music thanatologists; scientists, and, the public. A “Successful Aging” Expo, in full swing in an adjacent hall, brought curious older adults to attend as well.

According to Little, “Beautiful Dying Expo’s mission is to expand awareness and encourage meaningful conversation, demystifying the process of dying and death by bringing industry experts together to share current tools, new ideas and resources with the public.”

Noteworthy were the excellent panels moderated by author, podcast host, hospice physician, and founder of End of Life University on-line Karen Wyatt, MD. To read more about this extraordinarily dedicated educator and spiritual teacher please see www.EOLuniversity.com or

https://wellnessshepherd.com/2018/08/05/death-dying-education-a-chat-with-end-of-life-universitys-karen-wyatt-md/

Hospice Physician Karen Wyatt — Karen Wyatt, MD, Author and Founder of End-of-Life University

The Comfort Measures and Caring for the Dying panel included Dan Diaz of End-of-Life Options (husband of Brittany Maynard who died of a brain tumor with assisted dying in Oregon), author, hospice nurse and chaplain Gabrielle Elise Jimenez (www.thehospiceheart.net), Sharon Lund (author and NDE near death experience speaker), Roger Moore a medical hypnotherapist, Elizabeth Padilla of the Conscious Dying Institute (www.ConsciousDyingInstitute.com ), Dr. Karl Steinberg palliative care physician, and Dr. Bob Uslander (Medical Director and Founder of Integrated MD Care).

Beautiful Dying Expo Advisory Board members San Diego palliative care physician Karl Steinberg, and Santa Barbara-based video and event producer Penny Little

The End-of-Life Choices and Planning panel included Scott T. Barton, PhD of UCSD School of Medicine’s Anatomical Department, estate attorney Adam Englund “the best bequest is to have your affairs in order”, Healthcare Chaplaincy member and speaker Ben Janzen (Dr Theology, PhD, VITAS Healthcare Chaplain and Bereavement Manager), Eric Putt, MBA of Thresholds Home and Family-Directed Funerals, Samantha Trad the California Director of Compassion and Choices, and Shawn LaValleur Adame founder of DIY Dying. Drs. Steinberg and Uslander also participated (see paragraph above for their details).

Also noteworthy were panels about Advance Care Planning, POLSTs (in California), end-of-life planning and options for veterans, end-of-life choices, and more. Among the unique exhibitors, workshop hosts, and musicians were Living Reef Memorials (“giving new life to our oceans”), Joshua Tree Memorial Park natural burials, Liz Fernandez DVM on pet euthanasia, Good Grief mandalas, and healing spiritual music from Gia George of http://www.divinelygia.com.

In honor of Mexico’s Day of the Dead it was an honor for me to share an overview of dying in Mexico – family and religious traditions, rituals, plus their origins and meaning told through stories I’ve been witness to based on two years as an educator and outreach liaison at www.JuntosContraelDolor.com – the only 24/7 palliative care hospital and hospice in the state of Jalisco, another two years dedicated to folks nearing end-of-life in a small village at Lake Chapala, and research volunteer work for www.HolaHospice.org to establish a senior home and hospice in the state of Michoacan.

Mexican paper mache’ Catrina dolls created by Professor Ernesto Eduardo Figueroa and his sister Ana of San Miguel Allende and Celaya. These dolls, dressed in French-influenced gowns from around 1900 telegraph that death is democratic and that even the wealthy do not escape it.

As a result of my expo presentation three hospice nurses, two bi-lingual, were excited to offer volunteer services in Mexico!! What a happy synchronicity, all due to Michele Little’s invitation for which I am grateful. Thanks also to Michele and team for creating a Day of the Dead altar in the middle of the expo room!!!!

Finishing touches were offered at 8:00 p.m. by idiosyncratic guest speaker Stephen Jenkinson, a Harvard-educated theologian and social worker, founder of Orphan Wisdom, and former director of palliative care at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Canada.

Canadian Stephen Jenkinson, author and speaker

Jenkinson has spent years of his life dedicated to promoting the acceptance of death and is the author of several books including the Nautilus Award-winning Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul. The National Film Board of Canada produced a documentary about Jenkinson and his philosophy entitled Griefwalker.

The 2020 educational event will take place in San Diego, CA October 31 and November 1.

See https://beautifuldyingexpo.com/

Death and Dying, Death and Dying Education, End-of-Life Education, Health & Wellness Mexico

Unique Learning Experiences at Death Cafe Santa Barbara and Death Cafe Santa Monica

December 31, 2018February 6, 2019 bigpondlittlegirl

In January of 2018 Loretta Downs, M.A. gerontology, and I co-founded Death Café Ajijic aka Café Mortality Ajijic at Lake Chapala, Mexico.

The first café started the next month with the intention of encouraging the mostly retired community to talk about and prepare for end-of-life, not only to save loved ones and neighbors a lot of grief and time, but to provide a space to talk out feelings, hopefully leading to more well-being.

Because we travel a lot, we invited other health professionals in the community to join as volunteer hosts. We have been fortunate. There is now a rotating team to handle responsibilities for the all-volunteer events starting in 2019. We continue to do our best to improve the experience for attendees. One of the best ways for me to learn is to experience other Death Cafes.

For those of you unfamiliar with Death Cafes, they have been in existence since 2011 and are now in 63 countries of the world. See www.DeathCafe.com for a café near you.

I was recently in Santa Barbara, CA, originally a Spanish mission post, to attend the Santa Barbara Death Café.

It was a pleasure to enter the donated venue at 11 E. Carrillo Street, the Hill-Carrillo Adobe. Beautiful place built in 1825. It is on the National Registry of Historic Places.

Hill-Carrillo Adobe, circ 1825, Santa Barbara, CA

There are three dedicated hostesses in Santa Barbara. One of them provides her grandmother’s tea cups and linen. Others bring cake or cookies. Attendees offer donations to defray expenses.

One of the surprises for me was that Santa Barbara Death Cafe provides a mobile library. They bring books in a large carton each month for participants to check out!! I love this idea!!

Death Cafe Santa Barbara lending library

Participants in Santa Barbara are all adults, mostly older adults. In a group of about 20, there were two men, one a recent widower. We introduced ourselves to each other at a long, rectangular table, one by one, sharing briefly what brought us to the café.

Conference table at Hill-Carrillo Adobe, Santa Barbara, CA

We dispersed after the introductions to talk in groups of three, four, or more. It was organic, and attendees were encouraged to move to another group if they so desired. I see how attendees return over and over again. The hostesses and environment feel cozy and safe.

Thank you Death Café Santa Barbara and Center for Successful Aging for your hospitality!!!

I also attended an intimate Death Café in Santa Monica a few days prior to the Santa Barbara Café. It was hosted by a lovely woman at her office space. She is a psychologist, grief counselor. death doula, and drama therapist from Pasadena. There were five of us all together. The counselor led by asking why each came, and the other three participants, each in their 30’s, were off and running, lively and engaged from the start. Time went by quickly. This multi-talented lady also offers a Death Goes to the Movies night. Recently she screened a documentary about a psychiatrist/musician preparing for his green burial.

Both cafes in Santa Barbara and Santa Monica were unique, rewarding experiences. You may find the next dates for these Death Cafes or others near you at http://www.DeathCafe.com. If you do not find one, perhaps you may have a desire to start one.

Please see the following links for articles about two of the cafes in Ajijic if you are interested – how we organized, and how attendees shared experiences at the end.

https://wellnessshepherd.com/2018/02/25/death-cafe-ajijic-mexico-ex-pats-and-snowbirds-talk-gently-about-mortality/

https://wellnessshepherd.com/2018/08/12/the-death-positive-movement-is-alive-amongst-retiree-ex-pats-at-lake-chapala-mexico/

Death and Dying, Death and Dying Education, End-of-Life Care, End-of-Life Education, End-of-Life Planning, Health & Wellness Mexico, Hospice, Palliative Care

Death & Dying Education – A Chat with End-of-Life University’s Karen Wyatt, MD

August 5, 2018 bigpondlittlegirl

Award-winning author, podcast host, and hospice physician Karen Wyatt connects healthcare professionals and the public with information about healing options for the dying through End of Life University, which she founded in 2013.

Backstory:

For three years+ I have been dedicated to a palliative care/hospice mission for Mexico. Even though I am back and forth to California, I am continually on the look-out for how care and support for patients and families is being provided on a national and global basis.

What interests me are differences place to place as they relate to education for providers, physicians, patients, and families – what’s missing, what’s working, what options and perceptions about dying are offered.

This is where Colorado-based hospice physician and thought leader Karen Wyatt comes in. She brings my quest to my computer in an open and engaging way through her END OF LIFE UNIVERSITY web site podcasts. Colleagues share experiences, feelings, information and wisdom about how they are advancing best practices for end-of-life.

Dr. Wyatt’s approach to death and dying is holistic, with a special emphasis on sacred and spiritual aspects of our transitions.

The goal of her effort is a national dialogue for “creative healing… opening the heart of Western medicine.” The podcasts, connections, and resources are a welcome gift not only for healthcare professionals but the public as well. See www.EOLUniversity.com.

In conjunction with the university, Dr. Wyatt launched an on-line book club in January 2018, The Year of Reading Dangerously, where she introduces one book per month about an aspect of end-of-life, and, interviews the book’s authors live on-line. Participants type in questions on-line or ask via the phone line they are listening on.

Interview with Dr. Wyatt

Please share with us about your personal history, and, what led to your work in end-of-life care.

I trained to be a family doctor. I had no knowledge of death and dying or hospice.

Three years after my residency, my father died by suicide. His sudden death upended my world. I felt guilty. I had training in psychiatry and couldn’t save my dad. I floundered for a long, long time trying to get through the grief. Three years after his death, I still felt very lost. I was wondering if I would ever smile or feel joy again. Suddenly a voice said, “call hospice.” It was my voice, and I have no idea where the message came from.

I didn’t even know if there was a hospice in the Utah community I lived in. I searched “hospice” and found one. I called and asked if they needed a volunteer. When they discovered I am a doctor they enthusiastically exclaimed “oh my goodness!” The Hospice Director, stunned, continued to ask “what made you call us now?” I just had an inspiration, I replied. The Director continued, “Our medical director resigned 30 minutes ago and now you’ve called us.” Just like that I became a hospice medical director. I was guided to this place, and I knew it for sure when I met the team.

What inspired the creation of End-of-Life University? What led you to gather fellow end-of-life colleagues to share what they know with each other and the public?

Years in hospice have brought me profound spiritual experiences. I have learned many lessons about how to live my own life. Hospice has helped me live a life of appreciation and that brought me to the decision to write a book. Many patients had asked if I could tell their stories one day. I made a promise to do so.

End-of-Life Book — by Karen M. Wyatt, MD

Writing a book was a long process and is what probably inspired the eventual creation of EOL University. I began the book in 1999 and finished in 2010. I felt I must live the lessons of the book in order for it to be complete. The book was published in 2012 and it was then I realized for the first time that the population, in general, was resistant to talking about death and dying. It seemed people were not ready or open; it was the last thing they wanted to talk about. It was then I knew I wished to do something to change this, something different needed to happen.

Brainstorming led to the question, what else may I be involved with other than a blog or writing? (At the time, Wyatt was posting occasional articles on Huffington Post and in local newspapers). The year was 2013 and I began listening to on-line interviews on other subjects and realized no one was doing this on-line for death and dying. I started the research to find people to interview. It was fun, I loved it (and still do). I was learning so much and wished to keep it going. That was five years ago. I am grateful to the Internet and social media as networks for good.

What response did you receive when you first began End-of-Life University?

End-of-Life University is always a work-in-progress, unfolding. In the beginning I felt no one was listening to the interviews, and that no one cared. The interest grew slowly over time. I learned consistency is important, showing up regularly. I followed the top web sites in Google search. I recognized ranking makes a difference. Over the years EOL University has gone from 200 to 4,000 subscribers. There is a lot of patience on my part.

I knew I was in it for the long haul, and it was the right thing to do whether I received validation for it or not. In the last couple years, whenever I’ve been at a conference, I kept meeting people who have been listening to the podcasts. Some would say, “every week, your interviews got me through two terrible years when my mother died, or “I’m interested in working in end of life because of your podcasts.” One of most important things I learned is that your heart tells you to continue, even if there are signs showing otherwise. You don’t know the impact you are making, but someday you may find out. Always trust your heart.

How did the concept of creating the book club with its engaging title, the Year of Reading Dangerously, take hold?

I felt it would be important. There are so many books, and books are another wonderful way people can learn about death and dying. The goal is to reach people. The concept of reading and discussing a different book each month had been with me for a while. So late one night I posted the book club on Facebook to see if there might be any interest. I was imagining maybe 20 persons might respond, and if so, that would be great. Well 150 had signed up! Now over 1,000 have signed up. It’s never too late to join. The response has been so positive I am thinking about continuing the book club in 2019.

What I like most about the club are diverse points of view, completely different voices with unique perspectives discussing end-of-life. I owned some of the books and hadn’t read them yet. Some of the authors I had invited to talk about their books suggested others. Katy Butler, author of Knocking on Heaven’s Door: The Path to a Better Way of Death, suggested Megory Anderson’s book Sacred Dying: Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life. Ken Wilbur is a friend and I felt his story Grace and Grit would be compelling.

I find a lot of our listeners are going through their own personal struggles related to death and dying. It seems energetically powerful and perhaps healing if people around the world are reading the same books. There is something enormously attractive about bringing people a shared body of useful knowledge.

See https://www.eoluniversity.com/yearofreading

Dr. Wyatt has retired from her medical practice. Her focus is end-of-life education. She enjoys speaking to audiences across the U.S. and has discovered that “threads” connecting those who do this work remain strong. “Death has called us in and somehow we end up sharing our experiences with others,” she says.

The “death positive” movement has taken off in recent years. Dr. Wyatt’s End-of-Life University and her podcasts seem to be at the right place at the right time.

It was almost 20 years ago when Bill Moyers’ PBS series ON OUR OWN TERMS showed that those of us who tend to the dying wish “to assure patients they can have a ‘good death’ one that fits them, their families, and their culture.” This is Dr. Wyatt’s mission as well. More people are now receiving the message.

Thought: What do you wish for your end-of-life?

Links where you can learn more or support the non-profit, all volunteer End-of-Life University:

www.karenwyattmd.com

www.eolu.com

www.patreon.com/eolu donations to non-profit End-of-Life University

https://www.amazon.com/What-Really-Matters-Lessons-Stories/dp/0982685548/ link to Dr. Wyatt’s award-winning book

Tag: End-of-Life Education

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