Death Cafe – Wellness Shepherd

Local residents recently transformed the West Hollywood Library Community Room into a vibrant hub of storytelling, connection, and sweet treats. The occasion? The library’s inaugural Death Café. Surrounded by curated books on mortality, neighbors sipped coffee, enjoyed mini cupcakes, and dove into uplifting, agenda-free conversations about life and death.

Coffee, tea, and cupcakes.

Popular books on the subject to check out at the library – When Breath Becomes Air, The Five Invitations, The Beauty of What Remains, Briefly Perfectly Human, and many more

The stories shared at the library’s cafe are now part of a thriving global movement active in 97 countries.

First conceptualized in Switzerland in 2004 by sociologist Bernard Crettaz and expanded by Jon Underwood in England, Death Cafés aim to dismantle the stigma around dying. By increasing awareness of death, these gatherings empower people to live more fully.

The movement’s massive popularity (there are approximately 24,000 registered Death Cafes) has launched additional dynamic spin-offs, including Death Over Dinner, Death Over Drafts, End-of-Life Salons, and more.

West Hollywood’s premier event was born from a wonderful collaboration between forward-thinking Library Community Manager Arpine Eloyan interested in engaging residents in conversation (and of course books!), and three passionate local end-of-life doulas, advance care planners, and educators: Catherine (Cat) Eng, Nicole Payton, and yours truly Wendy Jane Carrel. Guests told us they appreciated the luminous, peaceful atmosphere. They left asking for more.

Nicole Payton, Library Community Manageer Arpine Eloyan, Catherine Eng in the photo above.

Would you like to experience this community cafe for yourself?

You are welcome to join us for the next Death Café!

When: Saturday, August 22, 2026 from 10:30 AM to noon
Where: West Hollywood Library Community Room (626 N. San Vicente Blvd)

This movement has also spread to Hollywood!

On June 29, 2026, a deeply moving sister event—Café Mortality—was launched at the LGBTQ Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Senior Center.

Older Adult care colleague and geriatric social worker Michael McFadden kindly invited me to co-host. Over tea and cake in the upstairs lounge, we shared an emotionally touching afternoon with those who attended.

Below is a photo of the upstairs lounge and library at the LGBTQ Senior Center where Cafe Mortality was held.

The next Cafe Mortality at the center will be July 27, 2026 at 1:30 pm.

For 30 years—managing senior well-being plus advocating to audiences across Ecuador, Mexico, and southern California —my mission has carried one clear and enthusiastic message: please make friends with your demise. Or as a dearly departed friend used to remind me, “I am contemplating my demise.” When you plan ahead, it is likely you will create peace of mind for yourself, your family, and your neighbors.

Thank you to our remarkable local hosts for fostering spaces that create profound meaning and community healing with conversation.

Wendy Jane Carrel, MA, is a trusted older adult advocate and consultant who has hands-on experience with healthcare systems, Aging in Place, long-term care, palliative care, and end-of-life care in Mexico, Ecuador, other nations, and the USA. She provides informed, thoughtful guidance and curated, compatible care options for individuals, families, and their loved ones. She is a speaker and published author on subjects related to senior well-being and a trauma-informed end-of-life doula. Wendy’s web site is http://www.WellnessShepherd.com.

Resources:

https://wehotimes.com/west-hollywood-library-to-host-discussion-on-dying-with-death-cafe-event-june-22/ article by journalist and death doula Catherine (Cat) Eng.

https://deathcafe.com/what/ What is a Death Café?

https://deathcafe.com/blog/114/ Story and photos of Death Café’s Jon Underwood meeting Café Mortel founder Bernard Crettaz in Lausanne, Switzerland for Crettaz’ last Café Mortel.

Death Positive Movement

In January of 2018 Loretta Downs, M.A. gerontology, and I co-founded Death Café Ajijic aka Café Mortality Ajijic at Lake Chapala, Mexico.

Launched the following month, the first café aimed to help the retirement community navigate end-of-life planning. By providing a dedicated space to discuss feelings and final wishes, the initiative sought to alleviate the emotional and logistical burden on loved ones and local neighbors while fostering greater overall well-being.

Because we travel a lot, we invited other health professionals in the community to join as volunteer hosts. We have been fortunate. There is now a rotating team to handle responsibilities for the all-volunteer events starting in 2019. We continue to do our best to improve the experience for attendees.

For those of you unfamiliar with Death Cafes, the were created with this name in 2011 by British web developer Jon Underwood of East London and his mother Sue Barskey Reid. The cafes are now in 63 countries around the world. See www.DeathCafe.com for a café near you. (Underwood was inspired to continue the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz and his cafés mortel created in 2004).

One of the best ways for me to learn more has been and continues to be experiencing other Death Cafes.

I was recently in Santa Barbara, CA, originally a Spanish mission post, to attend the Santa Barbara Death Café.

It was a pleasure to enter the donated venue at 11 E. Carrillo Street, the Hill-Carrillo Adobe. Beautiful place built in 1825. It is on the National Registry of Historic Places.

Hill-Carrillo Adobe, circ 1825, Santa Barbara, CA

There are three dedicated hostesses in Santa Barbara. One of them provides her grandmother’s tea cups and linen. Others bring cake or cookies. Attendees offer donations to defray expenses.

One of the surprises was that Santa Barbara Death Cafe provides a mobile library. They bring books in a large carton each month for participants to check out!! I love this idea!!

Death Cafe Santa Barbara lending library

Participants in Santa Barbara are all adults, mostly older adults. In a group of about 20, there were two men, one a recent widower. We introduced ourselves to each other at a long, rectangular table, one by one, sharing briefly what brought us to the café.

Conference table at Hill-Carrillo Adobe, Santa Barbara, CA

We dispersed after the introductions to talk in groups of three, four, or more. It was organic, and attendees were encouraged to move to another group if they so desired. I see how attendees return over and over again. The hostesses and environment feel cozy and safe.

Thank you Death Café Santa Barbara and Center for Successful Aging for your hospitality!!!

I also attended an intimate Death Café in Santa Monica a few days prior to the Santa Barbara Café. It was hosted by a lovely woman at her office space. She is a psychologist, grief counselor. death doula, and drama therapist from Pasadena. There were five of us. The counselor led by asking why each came, and the other three participants, each in their 30’s, were off and running, lively and engaged from the start. Time went by quickly. This multi-talented Death Cafe host also offers a Death Goes to the Movies night. Recently she screened a documentary about a psychiatrist/musician preparing for his green burial.

Both cafes in Santa Barbara and Santa Monica were unique, rewarding experiences. You will find the next dates for these Death Cafes or others near you at http://www.DeathCafe.com. If you do not find one, perhaps you may have a desire to start one.

Please see the following links for articles about two of the cafes in Ajijic if you are interested – how we organized, and how attendees shared experiences at the end.

https://wellnessshepherd.com/2018/02/25/death-cafe-ajijic-mexico-ex-pats-and-snowbirds-talk-gently-about-mortality/

https://wellnessshepherd.com/2018/08/12/the-death-positive-movement-is-alive-amongst-retiree-ex-pats-at-lake-chapala-mexico/

Wendy Jane Carrel, MA, is a Spanish-speaking senior care advocate from California. She has travelled Mexico for several years researching health systems, senior care, and end-of-life care to connect Americans, Canadians, and Europeans with healing options for loved ones. She is a compassionate companion and palliative care liaison, legacy writer, co-founder of Café Mortality Ajijic/now Death Café Ajijic and a speaker and published author on subjects related to senior well-being. Wendy’s web site is https://www.WellnessShepherd.com

Category: Death Cafe

Making Friends with Impermanence – West Hollywood Library Hosts First Death Café; Hollywood’s LGBTQ Senior Center Hosts First Café Mortality

Unique Learning Experiences at Death Cafe Santa Barbara and Death Cafe Santa Monica